academic coach

Voyeuristic Intimacy

I'm fascinated this morning by the technology of blogging and the peculiar interpersonal relationships it fosters. 

First I read Jo(e)'s poignant post about her brother cutting off all contact from her for more than a decade.  Then, somehow I wandered over to A Delicate Boy's blog for the first time and read his interesting summary and response to a book written by an MIT grad student who chose to live "without technology" for 18 months.  This made me think of recent discussions on a number of sites about power point and email.

I've only been a blogger for a few weeks and yet I feel like I've entered a world where I have the opportunity to get to know people in a very intimate, yet usually annonymous, enter-my-thoughts-and-feel-oddly-connected kind of way.

Such as when I read Jo(e)s post this morning and ached for her brother to open his heart to re-connection. To share that painful, vividly expressed experience -- feeling way teary as I sit here, an unknown, lurking voyeur.  Feeling moved by Scrivener's descriptions of the life events that have left him an ABD and now, his "best worst thing" (OMG, what a courageous survivor).  Celebrating, in silence, Profgrrrrls ability to fit into skinny pants and giggling with head-nods about the generic letter of reference she'll write for an obnoxious student.  Curious about Bitch's open marriage and son in her bedroom and impressed that she has her own office in a 2 bedroom house (go girl!).  I could go on and on because I've been on-line a lot lately (neglecting many other duties and relationships in the process.)

What does this blogging technology mean? It gives us a new and unique method for relating that I don't quite know how to sort out.  I'm sure that there are thousands of posts out there on this issue, I know that some academic bloggers I've read even specialize in the study of this technology, yet I haven't read people's thoughts about the medium itself.  And, as a beginner, I don't know how to seek out these posts.  I do feel confident however, that I'll wander across them at some point and be pleased to see others who share my curiosity, describe it more precisely than I can, and extend my ideas in delightfully smart and insightful ways.  So often I find myself saying "Yes! Well put" in response to people's posts and comments.

When I spend a while reading several entries of the annonymous academics I'm linking to, I start to feel as though I know them better -- in certain ways, the whats-on-your-mind and what-are-your-moods kind of ways -- than many people I've known and interacted with IRL for years.

The very term IRL seems to sum up for me some of the odd and awesome contractions of blogging relationships.

I'm a shrink, and the way blogs permit 'knowing' reminds me very much of ways that I know people from psychotherapy or coaching. It's an assymetrical, voyeuristically-tinged relationship that is intensely intimate, wonderfully connected on essential levels, and yet based on a structure that strictly limits the range of intimacies. In therapy, the boundaries make the self-revelations safer. This seems to be true of the annonymous blogs as well. 

I feel similar gratifications -- surges of connectedness and well-wishing and compassion and curiosity and intellectual stimulation and empathy -- that I feel as a therapist or coach.  This is why I love my work.  This is why I really love my work.

And these relational gratifications are why I have spent hours and hours and hours at the computer enjoying a new pleasure.  The danger, for me (and I assume for many bloggers who need to log off and get their work done) is the danger of addiction.

Yes, I confess, I'm clearly a junkie.

Summertime and the Living may be easy but the Working be Hard...

As Ianqui points out in her comment on my procrastinators' code post, the supposed freedom of the summer seems to inspire tangential meanderings.  In fact, she and Daybreak are prescient -- I've been thinking the exact same thing ("sure is hard to stay on task in the summer...") as I spend time with my new toy (this blog.) 

Every night, when I put my daughters to sleep. I sing each one (there are 4) the song "Summertime".  Lately, I think about summer procrastination/blogination while I'm singing (off key.)

This week or next, IHE is publishing a brief article that I wrote about how to be more productive during the summer months.  Definitely a case of "Do As I Say, Not As I Do" :)

"Summertime and the living is easy/  Fish are jumping and the cotton is high...."

I use that quote in the piece -- but took out an un-PC line when editing...

"By the end of the semester, we end up feeling like slaves to our students.  But that doesn't mean that it's easy to do our own cotton-pickin' work."

When IHE said that they were going to run my piece, I had to whip up another article for my own newsletter -- what did I write about?  Don't Waste Your Summer. Of course, right now I'm not taking my own advice because I'm blogging.... but then, that's how I begin the article:

Take my advice. I'm not using it.

PROCRASTINATOR'S CODE

How do we get into our guilt-ridden cycles of procrastination?

Here's a "Top Ten" list of the self-imposed rules that sabotage our productivity:

1) My work must be perfect.
2) It's safer to do nothing than to take a risk and fail.
3) If my work gets critical feedback I've failed.
4) I shouldn't stop until every sentence is just right.
5) I shouldn't start until I know exactly what I'm going to say.
6) If I expose my work, people will see that I am inadequate.
7) I need to do more research before I start writing.
8) I've already "blown it" by not producing more, so why bother starting.
9) If I make myself miserable enough maybe I'll begin working.
10) If I'm not working I should punish myself with guilt.

These rules are adapted from my favorite book about Procrastination by Burka and Yuen.

I resonate with the many complaints in blogs about the painful fears that lead to procrastination.  I liked the response of New Kid on the Hallway to a post by Academom on procrastination.  New Kid wrote:

"I procrastinate all the time, too, and I hate it. It was especially bad in the long boring never-ending middle of dissertation writing, when I had nothing but myself to keep me honest. I sometimes think, though, that 1) procrastination is endemic to academia (all us perfectionist types running around) and 2) that although we all procrastinate, a lot of the time it's in that "to create the MOST PERFECT prospectus/chapter/paper/whatever, I should have started 6 months ago, written for 3 hours every day, explored every source on the subject that exists, and have had meaningful conversations with great scholars on the subject. Since I didn't, I AM POND SCUM" kind of way - that is, we procrastinate in our own heads according to the high standards we have for ourselves, but we nonetheless manage to get everything done anyway. Which is at heart the most important thing.

I still wish I didn't procrastinate so much, though. "

I agree with New Kid that academics are especially prone to procrastination when they are trying to write a Magnum Opus instead of what I call a Marketable Career Builder.  It is also common for the grad students I work with to think that the longer their dissertation is taking them, the better it should be.  And it is hard to get rid of this pernicious myth -- no matter how often one hears the truth repeated: The best dissertation is a done dissertation.

Please, I tell struggling dissertators, remember the well-known joke:

"What do you call the author of the worse dissertation that has ever been defended in the history of your department?"

"DOCTOR!"

Bush puts us Ph.D.s in our place

Check out Brendan Nyhan's references to Bush's bad jokes and intellectual insecurity.  Three examples of the same tired poke at Ph.D.s in favor of C-students.

As Dr. History  sums up the schtick:

"The standard line goes something like this:

Bush - Hey, secretary of the interior, you have a Ph.D. don't you?
Sec of Int - Yes, sir.
Bush - What's it say that the President was the C student and the Ph.D. is the advisor? (laugh)"

That's the core joke -- repeated with at least 3 advisors in the past 6 months.

GWB's stance: "gee I'm just an ordinary guy and my college Cs are actually an attractive part of my credentials."

Why not make fun of Ph.D.s? After all, they are less likely to be RED, more likely to be born again.... etc.,.

Praise the lord for Anne Lamott's new blog which has kept me from completely giving up the past couple of weeks....

Preventing Grade Complaints

How Can You Deal With Those End of the Semester Grade Whiners?

Last week, Jo(e) blogged about how she prevents students from complaining about grades.  The post was so useful that I wanted to copy it verbatim (the link above, however, will allow you to read readers' comments).

"... here is my best strategy for preventing student complaints about grades:

At mid-semester, I ask them to hand me a manilla folder that contains all their work: usually, this includes three formal essays I've already graded (using an A through F scale), about ten informal pieces of writing that I've read and checked off, and a one page reflective piece in which they assess their class participation. I skim through this all and put a grade on the inside of the folder. I write nothing but the grade. (Otherwise I just wouldn't have the time to do this.) This grade is the grade that they are currently earning for the course.

Here's the spiel that they hear from me:

"I know that some of you are concerned about grades because you are applying for vet school or med school. And some of you have to keep a certain GPA to maintain scholarships. If you have some concern about the grade you are getting in this class, you need to make an appointment and come in to talk to me NOW. THIS WEEK. If you wait and come to talk to me at the end of the semester, IT WILL BE TOO LATE. At the end of the semester, there is NOTHING I can do about your grade. Except mark your grade in that little bubble sheet they give me.

Right now, we've still got half a semester left. There are things you can do to try to get a better grade. I can give you opportunities to rewrite papers. I can talk to you about strategies for writing the next paper. We have a writing center on campus - and other resources as well.

The grade I wrote in your folder is not likely to get higher. The semester will get harder, not easier. If you feel panicked about that grade, make an appointment with me THIS WEEK."

I repeat the gist of this several times until I know they've all gotten it. And a few will make appointments to meet with me. And the others? Well, they have waived their right to whine about grades.

It seems to work. I have not had a complaint about grades since I started doing this."

Thank you Jo(e) for this great tip.  I love the message: "see me now, or forever hold your peace."

It exemplifies what smart teachers do: Act Proactively.

Acting Proactively starts with the syllabus, which should include not only the reading and dates of papers and tests, but how grading will be conducted, when and how you want to be contacted, your policies about incompletes and make-up exams, etc.,.  The ideal scenario is being able to ward of complaints by saying "I've already stated my policy about this on the syllabus."  In fact, the only addition I would make to Jo(e)'s strategy is to hand out written instructions for compiling the mid-term folder and put your grading policy down in writing.

BTW, the grading blogs seem to have first been sparked by a post from Scrivener and a subsequent, whopping 30-plus comment thread.  He, in turn, was responding to a fun Washington Post article about grade whiners.  I'm sure that all of you who've taught undergrads will resonate.

It is a well known fact that every year students grow more entitled. In my mind, the expectation of instant accessibility via email is the prime example.  Also, having copies of class notes posted on Blackboard or other internet options seems to me to be spoon-feeding.  One of the profs I work with gets attacked each semester that he teaches stats if there is the tiniest typo in his extended explanations of the problems and formulas.  Hmmph.  In my day (college class of '80, gasp) we were expected to take our own notes.

This spring, Husband taught our 4th grade daughter's class for an hour.  His topic was mosquitos and malaria.  He came home raving about what great questions the class had asked.  "Much better than the med students," he added.  "All they ever ask is: 'Will this be on the test?'"

Academic Mentoring

There is an excellent discussion on mentoring posted on The Synecdochic Professor's blog.

Although I agree that it is the professor's responsibility to mentor well, many don't.  They aren't trained how to mentor.  Many don't care whether they mentor well.  Thus, unfortunately, it is in every graduate student's self-interest to learn advisor management techniques.

However, professors who do learn to mentor well, will be at an advantage because they will have to deal with fewer, lingering, untalented students.

I've written a newsletter related to this topic -- one version for faculty and another version for grad students.

Dissertation Delays

Attention all ABDs -- there is a detailed story, "Diss and Dat", by "Scrivenings" about his years as an wandering lecturer, stay-at-home-dad and how life has gotten in the way of finishing the dissertation.

Anyone who has struggled for several years to dissertate while living may want to read and resonate with his plight.

Attention: Dissertation Distraction (A.D.D)

It's definitely my favorite name for a grad student blog so far: a.d.d. (another dissertation distraction).

A.D.D., attention deficit disorder, however, is prevelant among academics.  I've been surprised by how many graduate students I work with have symptoms that would qualify them for this label.  Almost none, however, would actually "meet criteria" in the psychiatry bible -- the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders -- because they've coped with their quirks too well.  A defining feature of ADD -- and its compatriot Attention Deficit Hyperactivitiy Disorder (ADHD) -- is that you have to have been "significantly impaired" in school by your wandering brain.

more to come on this one....

Essential Guilt

My favorite quote today is from the book Undoing Perpetual Stress by Richard O'Connor, Ph.D.

He writes:

"You can make a good case that guilt, not agriculture or the wheel, may be the foundation of civilization."  p.145

Whether or not guilt plows your fields and turns your crank, it certainly seems to form the basis of an academic identity. 

All the grad students and profs I work with (myself included) seem to feel guilty about one of two things: we're not working enough - or - we're working too much and not spending enough time with our partner, children, friends, etc.,.  We also are adept at oscillating between these two guilty states, or even (no doubt because of our vast powers of intellect) able to feel guilty that we're not working hard enough, and guilty that we're working too hard, at the same time.

And since when did guilt improve anyone's productivity?

Against Depression

Depression is worse than we thought: it causes irreversible brain pathology.

One of the professors I coach, who battles depression on an ongoing basis, suggested that I read Peter Kramer's new book "Against Depression." Kramer is best known for his book "Listening to Prozac" (which is well worth reading if you are a dysthymic academic wondering if you might want to pop anti-depressants.)

The basic premise of "Against Depression" is that we romanticize depression and are ambivalent about curing it. Instead, Kramer argues, we should attack the disease with single-minded vigor, because the longer and more severely we are depressed, the more damage it does to our brain and body.

Kramer presents compelling and disturbing summaries of new biological research on depression. Recent studies indicate that depression causes permanent anatomical deterioration: specifically that the hippocampus shrinks, glia cells die, and the frontal cortex functioning becomes disordered.

The message? If you think you might be depressed, seek diagnosis and treatment. If you are depressed, leave no pebble unturned in your hunt for a cure.