My guess is that many - if not most - of you who read my blog also read Scrivener’s wonderful posts.
And if you do enjoy sharing snippets of Scrivener's experiences and opinions, you may have found your way, as I did a couple of weeks ago, to the sensitive and insightful pseudonymous blog of Badger – an ABD grad student. And if you did find your way to the pages of her blog, you may have discovered that she is coping with her busband's tragic terminal illness and helping their 7th grade son cope with the impending loss of his father. In the midst of this difficult time, she also had to deal with outrageous, infuriating, and devastating financial and bureaucratic hassles – courtesy of our horrid US medical system.
Separate from the issues she’s grappling with on the family front – because she needs to maintain her sanity by thinking about other topics at times – Badger sometimes blogs about her graduate studies. Recently, she
directed readers to some
entries from her pre-blog Live Journal. Specifically, she has several complaints about her dissertation struggles. Upon reading her posts, I shifted into consultant mode and began and offered my advice. (By the way – I contacted Badger directly, asking if I might post my responses here, in this format. She’s graciously given her permission.)
By way of caveat: please bear in mind that my advice is based on scant knowledge. I know only what she’s posted on her blog and Live Journal. Making suggestions with so little information is a bit like playing darts blindfolded. With many clients I feel reasonably confident and competent in my advice giving accuracy (sometimes I can be a sharp shooter) but it’s tough when I can’t see the target. That said, here goes….
Badger’s Dissertation Complaints and My Response as Self-Appointed, Temporary Academic Coach
Badger writes: I'm not going to finish my dissertation this year.
Of course not, dear Badger. Cut yourself some slack. Then, cut yourself some more slack. For the time being, forget about the rope tying you to your dissertation responsibilities. Your goal this year is to survive and take care of partner, your son, your body and your heart.
Many, many grad students and faculty go through difficult times. All of us need to give ourselves permission to forget about productivity when our own well being or the lives of loved ones must take priority. Life does interfere with work, and when that happens, we must try to make the best decisions possible without second guessing, or amassing secondary guilt. Unfortunately, tragic things do happen to people, as in your case, dear Badger, and “normal” life gets put on hold for as long as is necessary
For many of us,
minor delays and detours occur on a near-daily basis. Avoiding guilt in these cases is still an admirable goal. I’m quite behind schedule this week because my youngest daughter woke up with pink eye, couldn’t attend day camp, and required a trip to the doctor’s office yesterday. Then, I met with a new psychotherapy patient -- a woman who called and wanted to see me because she recently lost a child. I decided to see her even though my practice is full and I’ve been turning others away. Her difficulty is one of my clinical specialties, and well, it just felt right. Will it slow down my accomplishment of writing goals? Of course.
Did I accomplish my specific work goals this week? Of course not. At this rate, I won’t finish the ebook I promised my 700 plus newsletter readers I’d complete by the end of August. (With regards to time management, “Do as I say, not as I do!”) Right now, my efforts are directed at banishing the nagging sense that I should somehow be able to do it all. I don’t want to waste my days being guilt-ridden. Guilt-riddance is my goal!
Badger writes: One of my committee members is retiring.
This happens. Not infrequently. Especially to long-term ABD’s who pick older committee members. Younger, successful advisors or committee members who leave for more lucrative pastures cause even more common disruptions. These unforeseen changes require finding last minute pinch hitters or figuring out how to do teleconference defenses.
My advice: find out if the retiring professor is willing to serve as a committee member on an emeritus basis and whether your university will allow this plan. If he is willing, make it clear that you will expect less participation and feedback. If he’s unwilling or unable to do this, find a disinterested but sympathetic professor to “rubber stamp” the project. Many academics understand the difficulties imposed by this type of unlucky coin toss and will step in at the last minute with only cursory but supportive participation. Ask your dissertation advisor to suggest and invite a suitable replacement. This type of “fill-in-at-the-last-minute” participation is often offered as a favor between senior colleagues.
Badger writes: I think this dissertation will be a great book, but I'm not sure it'll get me a job.
Don't think about the book now. Seek to streamline, simplify, and cut back on your dissertation ambitions so you can finish as quickly as possible. Your mantra should be "Just get the damn thing done and save the rest for the book." Because of the dramatic changes in your life circumstances, try to get your advisor on board for a dissertation that is reduced in scope from your original proposal. Dissertation topics and products are only one factor of many that get people jobs. Modest dissertations finished in a reasonable amount of time are often more impressive calling cards than masterpieces that have taken years and years to complete.
Badger writes: I seem to be writing primarily about dead white guys.
You picked the topic, dear badger. You can focus your next research project on living minority women. Personally, I think that there are many admirable dead white guys. Plus, from what I know of you via your blog, you wouldn’t have picked these dead white guys if they didn’t have a lot of valuable contributions for you to illuminate and share with your field.
As for studying dead people: allow me to quote Camiaco’s recent post entitled "Dancing With the Dead".
“
I work on dead authors because they won't show up to conferences to tell me I'm full of crap. Or because people who have talked to them in person will not be able to stand up and tell me I'm full of crap. But I also dance with the dead because I treasure the intimacy of defeating death and time, if only for a fleeting moment, poring over an old newspaper or an old diary. An illusion perhaps, but a beautiful one worth making your life's work.”
Badger writes:
The head of my department claims she was able to write her dissertation even though she was caring for her dying father.%*@&*! I hereby curse her with my most virulent, venomous, vehement, vitriolic evil eye.
If she made this horrid statement in response to your difficulty making dissertation progress while dealing with your husband’s impending death (and it sure sounds as though she did), then the shrew is EVIL.
Do you have any idea why she said this? Could it be possible, even remotely, that she just has the most horrid social skills in the universe and held the absurdly misguided belief that this would be of help to you? Bottom line: this is an abuse of academic power. And a huge dollop of unjustifiable hostility – whether rendered on a conscious or unconscious basis.
It is so upsetting to hear of yet another awful academic in a position of authority. Unfortunately, as a professional coach to academics, (sigh) I hear this type of story all too frequently (although, your Department Chair’s verbal assault is appallingly egregious, even to my experienced eardrums.)
Let me give another example: Quite recently, one of my ABD clients told me that his advisor said “Well, you will never become a tenured professor if you let this kind of thing set you back.” This was his advisor’s statement upon hearing that the grad student was taking time off to help the family deal with the hospitalization of his 55 year old mother who had been suffering with Alzheimer’s for several years. My response: “That @%$#**ing #$@@*!” Where do these people come from?
Before that, I helped a student fire an advisor who was being verbally abusive. My unofficial diagnosis of the advisor? Untreated bi-polar disorder. The result after student switched advisors? Dissertation defended within 3 months.
Hostile insensitivity leaves me in empathetic rage. My advice: Don't get angry. Get finished. The realistic possibility of taking this advice and finishing without rage or delay? Practically nil. Should you still try? Of course.
In your case, dear Badger, because the unkind words were uttered by the Department Chair rather than an automatic letter-of-recommendation writer, a passive-aggressive approach to revenge might be appropriate. You may want to tell everyone you know (especially her colleagues) what she said to you ONCE YOU’VE DEFENDED.
Badger writes: One of my chapters requires watching films that no one here in the US has copies of. DVD release has been perpetually "forthcoming."
My dear Badger, is the film available in 8mm or 16mm for a reasonable sum? If so, when you are ready, use your brains to find someone who can hunt down and send you the elusive film or have it transferred to video or whatever. I guarantee that there are less than six degrees of separation between you and the film you need. Make friends via blogdom with a grad student in a country where your film is available. Locate a
US academic traveling to the country. If the film is in a bizarre format that won’t play on your own DVD player, take whatever you get to a professional and have it copied.
If it would help, I have friends I could email tomorrow in Australia, Thailand, Malawi, and the Congo who would do me the favor of tracking down your film. When you have the time and emotional energy, post a direct request for help on your blog. Can you stay suitably pseudonymous if you ask for someone with good connections to the country?
On the other hand, if we are talking about a commercial quality 35mm film than this will be prohibitively expensive. If that’s the case, take the advice I’ve given for the subsequent question.
Badger writes: Several of my chapters require travel to libraries and archives far, far away.
Try to subtly change your dissertation so that you don't have to go to these places. If that is too much trouble, if it would demolish your dissertation thesis, if your committee won't allow a modification, or if you just can't get yourself to write the Smallest Defendable Thesis (SDT) rather than a masterpiece (Were you rich when you chose your dissertation topic? Sorry, dear badger, if it sounds unfair and I'm sure you've berated yourself for the same thing. However, I make the point for people who are currently conceiving their proposal.), if you can't (or won't) change your plans you're probably going to have to write some grants. Silver lining of the cumulus grant-writing cloud? Getting grants will be great for your job-getting resume.
Badger writes: I'm not sure how I can swing travel and research right now... or in the near future.
Be compassionate with yourself. If there is a dealer of life's cards, she's forgotten to shuffle the deck and has dealt you a devastating hand. Reread my response to complaint number 1. Your current priorities are painfully clear. All else is way down the list.
Of course you can’t swing travel or research right now. But I have faith that this too shall pass and that at some point you’ll have fun in different countries and get great intellectual pleasure from your good research.
”Bless you, dear Badger”, (said the areligious but pontificating shrink!)
My best wishes and hopes and sympathy go out to any and all of you who are currently struggling with difficult life circumstances.
