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“You can make a good case that guilt,
not agriculture or the wheel, may be the
foundation of civilization.”
Richard O’Connor, PhD.
“Undoing Perpetual Stress” p.145
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Did you do everything you thought that you should this week?
How did you feel about falling short?
Self-critical? Frustrated? Guilty?
If you tend to feel guilty about things done or not done, I would suggest that you try to shift those
feelings.
Contrary to what many people believe, guilt is not a good motivator.
Here’s how my internal dialogue sometimes goes:
“I really should get to work.”
“But I don’t want to.”
“But I have to.”
Then I just don’t do it.
Enter the specter of guilt.
When I avoid starting the most important item on my “To Do” list, I often find myself feeling guilty.
However, just as when another person makes me feel guilty, I find myself a bit annoyed and resentful when I feel guilty. The small sour drips of shame don’t make me feel more like working. Instead, the
feelings beg to be buried in a bag of Pepperidge Farm cookies, or a nap, or a novel, or a little web surfing.
And so it goes. Leading to another day of unpleasant procrastination.
What’s the solution?
Try being kinder to yourself for the next seven days.
Push those guilty voices out of your mind.
See what happens. You just might find that you get more accomplished when you stop berating yourself.
Guilt may be the foundation of civilization. But don’t you think that it is a pretty unstable foundation?
I’d rather base my life on other feelings such as acceptance and gratitude. I feels so much better when I ease up on the nagging self-criticisms.
Good luck banishing guilt. And let us know if you have any tools to combat the evil emotion.
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